Have you ever felt as if you’ve missed up on important memos regarding, well… life? Perhaps someone got your address wrong, the media got in the way or something happened to the messenger that was supposed to deliver the right messages.
The consequences are clear. You are caught fully off guard.
…Or maybe you are just starting to live enough to realize the importance of these information, and didn’t ‘get it’ before.
Whatever the case, I’m sharing with you my missing memos. Perhaps you’ll be able to learn from my experience, and manage your expectations better than I have, saving yourself a couple of sleepless nights.
1. Being an adult doesn’t mean you know anything. In fact, it’s the opposite. Remember how many times you were told that when you are an adult you would understand? 😒
Nah. You never do. I understand less of life than I ever did.
2. No one has anything figured out. Even the greatest of the greatest have no real idea of what they are doing. We are all cruising through life doing our best to stay afloat. Don’t loose yourself in the glamour of the life of some people. They are as confused as you and me.
3. The best choices you make, might turn out to be the worst choices ever, and the worst choices might change your life in the best way possible. Stop asking yourself if you are doing things right. There is no A/B testing. Just keep walking and make the best out of your path.
4. Do not judge or criticize others. It pollutes your mind and your energy, and signs you up to live a similar situation to the one you are criticizing. It has happened to me so many times. For sure we are all curious about how others manage their life and their decisions. We learn by talking about it as well, but do not allow that to become criticism. Just understand people are different. Trust me. You will be confronted by all that you judge harshly. It’s better to be human and understand that it’s ok not to understand sometimes.
5. I’m a child of divorced parents. If you are too, (or if you watch enough movies), you are aware of that key moment when parents tell you that their divorce didn’t have anything to do with you. Sorry to break it, but not really… The best way to push the limits of love is spending your time in conversations strategizing the life of little people that depend on you, and for whom you have different approaches/expectations. Yes. Babies are cute and produce more love in your heart than anything in the world ever will, but they don’t necessarily unite a couple. They put it through a test.
6. You too, will get old.
Ok… You probably did get that memo, but didn’t pay much attention. It happens. Your soul might stay the same, you will probably still feel like a teen ager, but the body ages… a lot! Use your body while it’s still young. 😏
7. Just like ‘forever’ and ‘never’ are false and uncontrollable premises, there is no good or bad. It’s all relative. No one ever catalogues themselves as the ‘bad guy’. Watch this video from a former CIA officer to understand what I mean. It changed my perception. We all believe we are doing good in our strange minds for our own strange life situations. Even the worst of criminals. More than ever, its important to listen to others with different views of the world. I have so many debates with my 5 year old when he tells me I’m playing ‘the good one’ or ‘the bad’ one. It’s easy to catalogue people that way, but reality is much more complicated. Don’t stay in the surface.
8. You have a mission. Your existence is not an accident. You will be presented with abstract clues of what that mission is all the time, and with the tools to fulfill it. Things get easier, and way less frustrating, when you start to understand and follow the pattern.
…for best results, stop trying to control everything.
9. We are all weird. I really wish I had know that when I was a teen. It takes a lifetime to embrace your own version of weirdness, but when you do it’s extremely liberating, and your walls disappear allowing you to find your tribe. The problem with not being yourself is that people can feel on an energetic level that there’s something ‘off’ about you. When you present yourself as vulnerable and real as you actually are, you allow for others to feel confortable around you.
And if none of these missing memos bring anything of value to your journey, just remember we are all dying. I always keep that in mind when I have bad moments. Be thankful for the opportunity you have to live today and make an impact, even in what may seem the smallest of ways.
Trust me: there’s a ripple effect to everything you do.