As I keep refreshing the news tab on what has become my favorite search term –hurricane Irma– I can't help but wonder, what are we so afraid of, anyway?
I get it. The list is long: hunger; devastation; suffering; Death.
My son was asking me about 'her' a couple of days ago. My answer to him was that we really shouldn't worry about Death. Being born wasn't a key concern in our lives either, so why bother. Plus we are energy. We are nothing but energy contained in a body: our precious little box which we love to take care of, and dress in different ways to keep ourselves entertained and show to the world a preview of what's inside.
I made friends with Death when I was a little girl. One day before Christmas when I was six, I saw my grandfather die before my eyes, victim of a heart attack mixed with a powerful wave that took him away from me. The image of his lifeless body floating in the immensity of the ocean has never left my mind. My sister and I ran as fast as we could trying to get some help. I can still feel the sand melting on my feet as I ran like I've never ran before.
But we failed; or did we?
There was nothing we could have done. My dad was bleeding all over from trying to rescue him. My dog was barking like crazy trying to go into the water, while grandma just stared in absolute disbelief.
And there it was. His lifeless body just floated peacefully into the immensity of the ocean carried by huge waves.
It was the saddest Christmas I've ever had. And Christmas has often had bad surprises for me, but that one exceeded expectations.
After this happened, I turned into religion. My closet became an altar and I spent my days praying, and asking my grandpa to please give me a sign that he was still there with me, and would never leave me.
You see? He was also my best friend.
The only thing that made me feel better was our Mexican Day of the Death tradition, which I will share with you in a couple of weeks.
As I grew a bit older, I distanced myself from the Church, but understood that God is energy and love; and so are we all — even those who we might not understand.
That thought fills me with peace because, as we all learned in elementary school, 'energy can't be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed.'
So he's still here. I can feel him, especially in days like today when I'm just so anxious.
I can even hear him. He guides me with advice, through the voice of others who often have important messages for me.
And so are your loved ones.
And so will we be one day.
So let's not get attached to matter. Let's not fully believe what our eyes are capable of seeing.
Perhaps this hurricane will soon become a storm, and we'll laugh about it texting memes to all our what's app groups. Perhaps it will continue its path of destruction and give us hardships. Don't let your eyes deceive you.
You are energy. You are safe.
Come what may…