This is where my day finishes. My shield goes down, my red lipstick goes off. There is full silence, after an incredibly noisy day. It’s here where i realize how much I have changed. The first time I came to Paris I was so lost. My English mixed with my broken French wasn’t enough to get by. I preferred to stare at a map for hours than ask for help. I couldn’t take rejection. I wanted to feel liked… Self doubt is such a cruel adversary. It might be cultural, or it might be age, but now having spent every summer for the past 10 years here, and speaking the language, I realize that inner strength I developed to get by on my own, and to become who I wanted to be.
Although still a work in progress, it’s so important to get to that point when you start being vocal about your priorities, the things You want, the ones You don’t , and your limits towards others. That’s where real change begins. Where you break free from expectations.. that’s what brought out the best side of me. I feel so safe and strong in my skin this time. The only person I need to feel liked by is staring at me right now. We live in a society that profits immensely from self-doubt. When you are able to break that cycle, you break free.
And yet, the thing about changing… is that you can never be the same.
Full mirror conversation below.