The Perfection of Chaos: Motherhood 1.1

Motherhood. So much to be said about it, yet I find there’s a lack words to express all the mixed feelings it produces. It’s the ultimate love, and the biggest, most reflective mirror.

It enlarges every emotional scar you carry and makes you experience the most beautiful forms of love that you could have ever imagined. In other words, it’s duality at its best 🙄

Through everyday crisis, and blissful moments, this mirror undresses you, and forces you to reinvent yourself all the time. And it’s a good thing.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been part of two really interesting conversations where motherhood has proven to be one of the most revealing topics.

One was for The Retreat Miami, at the Institute of Contemporary Art, where I shared a panel with Gabrielle Anwar and Taryn Toomey, moderated by Madeline Marr from the Miami Herald.

Gabrielle Anwar, the beautiful woman who gave us the iconic ‘Scent of a Woman’ scene, where innocence and experience are contrasted in a blissful manner as she danced Gardel’s ‘Por una Cabeza’ with Al Pacino, in the early 90’s, expressed her difficulties in raising her children, and how her never ending quest to give them the absolute best were often extreme and exhausting, making her feel crazy.

Taryn Toomey, known for transforming New Yorkers and Los Angelenos with her magical and cathartical workout, spoke of her children as her greatest teachers, and defined Gabrielle’s, and every mothers’ feeling of craziness as an internal conflict between the intuition and the intellect.

They both spoke about holding their babies in their arms as the most beautiful moment of their lives, while I mentioned how for me it took a lot longer because of events from my past that prevented me to allow myself to feel, because I do find there is a conflicting expectation of motherhood to kick-in immediately which turned into one of the biggest internal conflicts of my life, and yet the most interesting one of them all.

The second panel took place at La Centrale, on Brickell City Centre, where I moderated a conversation between Jenny López, an iconic Latin influencer, Irma Martinez, a celebrity stylist and founder of Trendy Inc (who is behind some of the iconic looks of Shakira and Marc Anthony among many others), and Nancy Karp, CEO of Kobi Karp (the design firm behind The 1 Hotel Miami among many others).

The three of them spoke about their passion for their careers, that even though, proved to keep them away from their children at times, were a very important element for them to be fulfilled. It was interesting to see the contrast of how motherhood absorbs an air of nostalgia when your children no longer need you all the time, and have a world of their own, (like it feels for Irma and Kobi who have older children) versus the stage Jenny and I are going through, which still requires an absolute focus and dedication.

What I want you to know, after sharing with you all these stories, is that no one has it figured out: there are no likes in motherhood. No reliable comments, or easy ways to measure if what you are doing is right.

I think that for me, one of the greatest lessons has been that in order to create, you need to let go. Yes, it is the greatest of loves, but even the greatest of loves is human. Remember that perfection is chaos, and every day is an opportunity to be better, but at the same time make sure you don’t forget yourself and the things that make you happy in the process.

Your children are yours for a reason: only you, because of who you are, can lead the way of those beautiful developing humans. Know you always know best, follow your intuition, and keep fighting to build the best version of them, and of yourself along the way. Happy Mother’s Day ❤️

Pictures: Celia D Luna and Chris Carter

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